Some drama please.

                                                                        Some drama please.

Picture of an Auto. Guindy Race course road, Chennai.

The advent of the excessive Internet usage in my country. Reason-Two years before Jio hit the market, they knocked the society out of its stable minds.

Internet has been the destination for many activities. It is not only a serious business enhancement tool, it is also a serious tool for ordering vegetables, breakfasts, tampons and condoms without human intervention to a possible extent.

People calling up restaurant to order their dinner has been simplified to telling an app what you desire to eat for lunch and knock…knock the food is at your mouth. The app takes care of the order, it just brings your order like hell or high water .You don’t have to get worried that your desired food is not available with us stories from restaurant folks because these food ordering applications are suited up with a never say never attitude.

                                                                            the crux.

Inside of a share auto. Thirumangalam, Chennai.

At first i see Share auto drivers sitting inside their auto and arguing about the best Internet service provider and whose plan is the best to have.

After some time…

 A share auto driver(I’d like to call him Moorthy anna) comes to his stand after his chance. He checks out his phone and after some time he thinks of ordering food through Internet like his children did the other day. He also thinks about the reaction his friends will have when they see a delivery boy at the stand delivering the food he had ordered. He gets excited and decides to go ahead with the plan. There he has a trouble now, though he is getting good with his phone he has not ordered anything through his phone by himself. He calls up his wife and asks her to put his children on line. He asks his children about the application that brings food and asks how to order food through it, they give him the directions, he writes it down on a piece of paper (whatever language he is savvy with, probably Tamizh), his excited children also remind him that the language of phone is in Tamizh so he wont have more trouble in executing his plan. The children demanded for a treat before they hung up, he sighs-budges and sighs again. He drinks some water from his bottle and is all set to order some food online. He tries to accomplish this feat but couldn’t succeed. He calls his children again from his small phone and asks them to direct him as he is in the process. They surf together to order some food with little confusion here n there. This was also a test of patience for his children and a 21-centaury way of establishing some strong bond.

He is done with his food ordering, he had ordered two biriyani’s, which is slated to reach his stand in 27min.

He called his friend (Salaam) to tell him that there is a surprise and not to eat anywhere. Now, all he was thinking was the kind of reaction his auto stand mates will have when the meal arrives. He also accepts the fact that he had ordered a lunch which has an expensive aroma. Salaam arrives to the stand by now, he gets off his vehicle and goes for a piss, during the piss he calls Moorthy to ask him where he was and what was the surprise. Moorthy tells him that he is parked near the electric post, and orders him to come at once.

Delivery boy calls Moorthy to tell him that he has come near to the bus stand.

Moorthy attends the call and directs him to come to the share auto stand and ask for his name to any of the drivers present there, he gives his vehicle number.

The delivery boy goes to the auto stand as per Moorthy’s direction. The boy gets to the stand and asks for Moorthy to a driver present there, the driver Is puzzled and asked him what is it about. The boy sighed, told him that Moorthy had ordered some food and he had come to drop them off to him, boy asks for Moorthy again.

The driver gets off his vehicle and looks for Moorthy’s vehicle. There! he says, right under the electric post. The boy goes off to Moorthy.  Asks if he was Moorthy and gives away his order, collects the cash. The boy goes away.

Salaam who was with Moorthy in the cabin of his auto was freaked to see two hot Biriyani packets delivered to the stand. Few of his driver colleagues present there gathered to see the biriyani packets being delivered. Moorthy sitting there like, what’s up folks.










All the photos used in this article are original pictures photographed by the blogger.
The blogger does not have money to register its copy rights so please do not reproduce it any where els.
Thank you.

                                                  Interview trip to kerala, 28Feb to 5 March.

men tearing wood in a shelter during Aatukal pongala, 2018.

28 Feb, I came to Trivandrum. The same day i had my interview. I left for my Interview from Bobby uncle's place.

Interview bombed, puff.The host roasted me. Made me believe that i am standing way too far behind in my race.I was like, screw that man, screw every thing.

1st March I left Bobby uncle's house and went to Jaya aunty's place to stay.

To get out of the bombed interview and its condolences drag, I thought to go out for pongala festival and look at the ladies who came to put pongala.

"Aatukaal pongala is the largest cultural and religious gathering by women folks from any culture in the world"

March 2, Aatukal pongala. I was at Jaya aunty's place. I woke up by 10 in the morning.Did some warm ups exercise, took a bath. Had my breakfast while Jaya aunty was conducting her advice giving session, i left the place after i got enough advice for the next year and half.

I started to walk along the street. Ladies, their families, their pots, grains and twigs all assembled to start off when they receive the holy flame that lit the pot of  goddess Aatukaal Devi in her temple by the holy priest. I couldn't have a good look at the ladies clad in their Kasavu mundu and blouse because Jaya aunty spoiled my bird watcher's instinct by telling Aatukal pangala was a festival for  ladies, all the young men who went on to take up all the glances along the road end up getting beaten or getting arrested by the police. So i had to control my bird watcher's nerve.

Desi with the local ladies who came to put pongala.

I was at a juice shop, some 20m away from the juice shop i saw this foreigner lady  sitting and chatting with the local ladies who came for pongala. I looked at their interaction, wondering what could be the discussion about. My look was so obvious, she turned to me. I smiled at her. She waved back.

I was having a soda lemon with cus-cus. She came walking towards my side, on seeing me having this drink she exclaimed hey! what you are drinking...! I gave her the juice and ordered another one.
She thanked me for the service.

The shopkeeper showcased chivalry. He said the juice which i offered to the woman was on him.
I was completely blown out, he did not take the money even after me forcing him to take.

Desi, waiting for her train to Varkala in Pettah station.

She liked the juice. She asked me what was cus-cus, i didn't know what it was. This drink turned out to be a form of retreat for us. We started to walk along the festivities. She said that the previous night she did not get an accommodation so she simply decided to stay back on the road side along with the people who were decorating the roadside for the big day.

Desi is an experienced teacher from Spain who has taught for 12 years. She spends half her salary on less fortunate children who cannot afford class rooms and few fun trips.The remaining amount she saves  for her trips to India. She is 42 and single woman. She leaves for her trips alone, she finds friends during the trip, makes her trip plans with the people whom she meets during the journey.

At the end of the day i put her in a Train to Varkala. She presented me the first of many wrist bands she made in an Ashram as a token of every thing a humanity should posses.


You know what! this woman was like the frog rain sequence from the movie Magnolia. She brought her presence just to deliver me from the trauma of the events which cracked me apart.




                                           muchas gracias






All the photos used in this article are original pictures photographed by the blogger during Aatukal pongala,  Trivandrum, Kerala.
The blogger does not have money to register its copy rights so please do not reproduce it any where els.
Thank you.

  

I liked Geetha aunty and her offer.

Fucked up brother.

Stuck! Stuck in midst of people...their ideas, non-stop monologues,egos,opinions.
Totally blown out and stuck in a sticky spot.

I lack a state of mind,I am missing some reality which is not willing to come out of it.

The says of everyone... including my gut's prophecies!, has put me in a volatile state.

Everything going haywire in my head. Fucking extensive shit worthy thinking going through my head.

I don't know why the fuck I be like this. I don't know if I am being a pretentious bastard... Or some kind of pseudo belief of pseudo wannabee passion caught on in me.

I deeply know that I want to do something in cinema. But,what next is the amazing question, for which I'm not able to find an answer!!

I just don't want to learn to drive thought is increasing proportionally with people saying the need to Drive... i know People say it for my own good!!.... Fuck!!  I thought i am the person who thought who had no petty ego troubles.

Fucking should I change?? Am I living a perfect 21 century dream of happy go fucking lucky, Chase my pimping worthy  thoughts influenced by my Demi gods  from my movies?!! But I am proud of the way I am and i like it too... Is that way  the stupid lame  lane... Or it is just a way too old or way ahead of my time or should i consult a brain doctor.

Anyway what the hell does "seize the moment" or "the moment seizes you" mean,I think Robin Williams and Richard Linklater used it as a catch phrase to woo their ladies...if u think I am shallow on this...please enlighten me on their respective ideas or else take a bow! and allow the next person to do his best.

I am taking things too seriously.I AM taking people too seriously by thinking that the same people take me seriously too.

All these questions were answered and questioned as a result of a heavily bombed interview and also as a result of me deciding to take up Geetha aunty's offer of she helping me to brush up some of my civil engineering and also to learn by assisting her PhD works.

which I eventually turned down because of all earth old lame egos and cute grumpy cat type of excuses of people who played a vital role in bringing me up to this state.

Good god bless the whole wide world and America.

But you know what!?!!?  some where deep inside me...I just don't care, nothing is so bothering! .... Nothing! All these self loathes are just a part of a faking! An act !! Just to showcase that I am concerned about my future and i am actively taking steps to make it a worthy place... Just to pacify and stop all the aam Aadmi's from yakking bull and shits.

I just don't want to do anything. Just roam around. I always thought that it would be so nice and easy to be without a family,a state,a nationality! ... u could risk and risk and roam as you wish!! And just die like a stray dog and get buried at à garbage dump yard where all the froth n scum of the big city is getting wiped to and dumped!! So simple.

I am gonna fuck it all for a big time !
Just faking!

28 feb'18, a day in Trivandrum, Kerala.

this is a confession of a weak person who is just afraid to take his small step and only interested in bluffing.

The photo used in this article is an original picture photographed by the blogger.
The blogger does not have any money to register its copy rights, so please do not try to reproduce els where.
Thank you.

                                                           

 a note from Camus.,

"On the depth of every beauty there’s something inhuman, and here is the hills, the mellowness of the sky, the outline of the trees loses, at the same time, the illusory sense with which we’ve clothed, already further than a paradise lost. Primitive hostility of the world ascends to us, through millenniums. For a second, we cannot understand it anymore, because for centuries we didn’t understand in it the figures and the drawings that we have previously attributed, and because by now we miss the forces to use this artifice. The world is evading, because it returns to itself. The scenes, misstated for habitude, become what they are and they’re pulling away from us. Like it happens some days, when, under a woman’s familiar face, we find out almost a stranger who for months or years ago we loved, probably we end to desire also what suddenly make us so lonely. But time is not over yet. There’s only one thing to notice: this density and this oddness of the world constitute the absurd."

                   I have to thank my parents for giving birth to  me at least by the late 20^th Century.

 The 20^th century began on January 1, 1901 and ended on December 31, 2000, it was eventful and action-packed with futuristic sci-fi imagery. India veered its path from the East Indian Community in the mid-twentieth century. In the midst of all the War themed activities, I deeply miss the art and movies that were unshackled in all directions during this interval. All articles churned, were the first one of its kind. All these yesteryear events give me a sense of Monumentality!!

Monumentality...

Monumentality can be experienced in every column of the 20^th century, from horses to horse power. Science, Agriculture, Industrial revolution, Rise and fall of nations, Teachings of various philosophers, Arts and Literature, Sports, Dolly- the sheep, The first Trip to Moon, Computers and Internet -all arranged like magazines in a book store shelf.

Humans were wealthy with resources in surplus, never knew the fear of Global warming, they had plenty water and ponds for fishing, picturesque animals to hunt and embrace, they made their houses from the top notch trees, they had festivals to celebrate the arrival of spring and sowing of seeds, they had people to attend to them, no one knew much about the ill effects of smoking and psychedelics so no one told a big no to it, they would dance until their hip can’t move, they knew that they were still far away from saturation so they flaunted their strength and  fertility by producing n number offspring and no one would come asking, they danced with their swords to depict victory.

 Humans would create new reasons to live creatively rather sitting back and ordering vegetables on various apps. The counter-cultural hippies and other humans who endured Nietzsche and other philosophers   wandered the earth connecting to a new knowledge order. People used to drop out from becoming doctors to fight for the oppressed. They had the people who would go to jail for decades together for the freedom of their people and their nation. They saw people who had fury and revolution etched deeply in them with honor. There were poor peasants fighting landlords with bow and arrows, there were survivors from many things who still had upright spine in work. Being an outlaw or a rebel was not considered pretentious.

I thank my parents for the candid timing, I spare you the biological details which put me and my brother out in the ultimate years of the 20^th century.  

                                                               

                                                        excerpts form my diary entry.

My note to ftii                                                                                                     7^th February 2017

Why do you think you want to join this field of study? 

 
A rhetoric cut.                                                                      

Cinema is a potential medium where one can express oneself! Its drama, its nuances, its color, its people, its chaos...has always complimented this mode of communication. The intriguing intricate nature of the art forced me to introspect, eventually widening up my perspective “The depth of my perspective is directly proportional to the depth of the Art I create”. The movies I watched all these days put me through desperation, which inspired me to take up cinema as my pursuit, irrespective of its deceiving nature

An underdog but a probable candidate. 

Cinema is a potential medium where one can express oneself! Its drama, its nuances, its color, its people, its chaos...has always complimented this mode of communication. This advantage of cinema can be instrumental in inspiring me to push my limits and eventually give life to my thoughts. I preferred this course to honor my wish of bringing out my thoughts to life, and show them to the audience in a cinema-scope format.




                                                                                                                                   4 ^th April 2017

                                          Source- somewhere from the internet.

I was in a bus. The bus was in a narrow street. The street was congested. Another bus approaches in, making it half parallel to my bus. The front seats of the approaching bus filled with worn faces. Like the movies we see, both the buses move slowly to clear. I saw this strong eyed old man with grey curly beard. We gazed into each other’s eyes as if we were checking if something was gazing back at us from our depths.

For me the buses felt like two prison vehicles carrying prisoners, and i one among them. As i could see only old people in the approaching bus, I used the advantage. I thought it like the Old prisoners are moved to some other prison and my bus is taking us to their old estranged cells.

We don’t own our independent lives! we are made to believe that we are enjoying our autonomy. We boast about the things, which we think we accomplished it...it is not even closer!. Our lives here today have become easy and comfortable, we seldom move our ass.The tiredness from our non-viscous lives tell us, to stay with no Imagination, to stay selfish by disrupting the flow of information, to disrupt the flow of our independent thinking. We seal our ears and screen our eyes in a way that we don’t see real and happening getting booked and taken away.

Just in case, the cynic in you should help. By unleashing your wishes, the wishes which you thought is not in accordance with the standards set by the society and its leaders. By adding more fire to your dystopian fury.
By realizing that the consequences are between good and bad, and not between good and evil.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     10^th, May 2017    

 

Some time it is better to walk around our neighbourhood, no one knows who could use our help!

Today I thought to walk home from 12^th main road, it was a 7km walk. I reached near this garment outlet in Thirumangalam. As I was getting nearer to the signal post, I see this man lying on the ground, at first I thought he was some drunken man lying down and showing some tricks, as I went nearer I realized the man was struggling with fits (seizure). I was like flashing back all those things done to a person struggling with fits. Luckily our man was lying near this iron Junction Box. I grabbed his hands and pulled him nearer to the box, then released his tightly held fingers to fix his hand to the iron legs of the Junction box. By this time few people came helping. I ran to the garment outlet to bring some water for the struggling man. I learnt that a man struggling with fits should not be given water, an old man from the helping crowd said to me. As I got the water I wanted to use it somehow on the man, so I washed his face. The man was made to sit straight. He was totally pissed and annihilated. He settled down gradually. The old man who taught me not to give water for the person struggling with fits asked him where he stayed...i asked for his friends or relatives contact number.

The ol’ man who taught me not to give water for the person struggling with fits said him that he shall drop him at his place.

Hence tranquility returned.

                                         

                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                     11^th, May 2017 

                              

Some time it is better to walk our neighborhood, no one knows who could help you and who could use your help!

Today I woke up a bit early than every day. My mom was getting prepared to leave for work. As I was awake I thought to accompany mom till her bus, which is a short walk.

On the way a needy man approached us...my mom reached for her purse in her bag but she couldn’t find it. So, I asked her to wait till I go home to bring back the purse...at the same time the man raised a request to bring him few cotton shirts as the May heat was blistering. He asked it in such a way were the rational you and the human you would have an immense sync! for which you will feel truly obligated to help. I went back home to bring my mom’s purse, few cotton shirts and a bottle of water.

A man recovered his trust in humanity by thanking us. This event was concluded with a subtle rain as a credit for the humanity.

 So this was the catch for the day! Get out on your feet some time to see you helping and you getting helped.

                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                               19^th May, 2017.

I think when most parents reach their 50’s 60’s; they pull out some guilt tripping tantrums. Today it was from my hero little father...he is the master at guilt initiating talks. He says like this, I don’t know if we children would take care of them parents when they become old. I never liked it, the heat in our conversation raised...mom left the scene though. He comes like this again I don’t care if you don’t take care of us also, then why would he say something like this then?

I think this is some kind of survival mechanism put forth by the people of that age demography. I suppose some kind of insecurity feel develops when man is about to enter old age. They may feel that their control in some areas is slowly moving to the hands of the young. So, eventually a survival instinct in them evolved human beings wake up to showcase these kind of responses just to pacify them, reassure again and again to confirm that they can be confident with their children, that they shall take care of them.