excerpts form my diary entry.

My note to ftii                                                                                                     7^th February 2017

Why do you think you want to join this field of study? 

 
A rhetoric cut.                                                                      

Cinema is a potential medium where one can express oneself! Its drama, its nuances, its color, its people, its chaos...has always complimented this mode of communication. The intriguing intricate nature of the art forced me to introspect, eventually widening up my perspective “The depth of my perspective is directly proportional to the depth of the Art I create”. The movies I watched all these days put me through desperation, which inspired me to take up cinema as my pursuit, irrespective of its deceiving nature

An underdog but a probable candidate. 

Cinema is a potential medium where one can express oneself! Its drama, its nuances, its color, its people, its chaos...has always complimented this mode of communication. This advantage of cinema can be instrumental in inspiring me to push my limits and eventually give life to my thoughts. I preferred this course to honor my wish of bringing out my thoughts to life, and show them to the audience in a cinema-scope format.




                                                                                                                                   4 ^th April 2017

                                          Source- somewhere from the internet.

I was in a bus. The bus was in a narrow street. The street was congested. Another bus approaches in, making it half parallel to my bus. The front seats of the approaching bus filled with worn faces. Like the movies we see, both the buses move slowly to clear. I saw this strong eyed old man with grey curly beard. We gazed into each other’s eyes as if we were checking if something was gazing back at us from our depths.

For me the buses felt like two prison vehicles carrying prisoners, and i one among them. As i could see only old people in the approaching bus, I used the advantage. I thought it like the Old prisoners are moved to some other prison and my bus is taking us to their old estranged cells.

We don’t own our independent lives! we are made to believe that we are enjoying our autonomy. We boast about the things, which we think we accomplished it...it is not even closer!. Our lives here today have become easy and comfortable, we seldom move our ass.The tiredness from our non-viscous lives tell us, to stay with no Imagination, to stay selfish by disrupting the flow of information, to disrupt the flow of our independent thinking. We seal our ears and screen our eyes in a way that we don’t see real and happening getting booked and taken away.

Just in case, the cynic in you should help. By unleashing your wishes, the wishes which you thought is not in accordance with the standards set by the society and its leaders. By adding more fire to your dystopian fury.
By realizing that the consequences are between good and bad, and not between good and evil.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     10^th, May 2017    

 

Some time it is better to walk around our neighbourhood, no one knows who could use our help!

Today I thought to walk home from 12^th main road, it was a 7km walk. I reached near this garment outlet in Thirumangalam. As I was getting nearer to the signal post, I see this man lying on the ground, at first I thought he was some drunken man lying down and showing some tricks, as I went nearer I realized the man was struggling with fits (seizure). I was like flashing back all those things done to a person struggling with fits. Luckily our man was lying near this iron Junction Box. I grabbed his hands and pulled him nearer to the box, then released his tightly held fingers to fix his hand to the iron legs of the Junction box. By this time few people came helping. I ran to the garment outlet to bring some water for the struggling man. I learnt that a man struggling with fits should not be given water, an old man from the helping crowd said to me. As I got the water I wanted to use it somehow on the man, so I washed his face. The man was made to sit straight. He was totally pissed and annihilated. He settled down gradually. The old man who taught me not to give water for the person struggling with fits asked him where he stayed...i asked for his friends or relatives contact number.

The ol’ man who taught me not to give water for the person struggling with fits said him that he shall drop him at his place.

Hence tranquility returned.

                                         

                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                     11^th, May 2017 

                              

Some time it is better to walk our neighborhood, no one knows who could help you and who could use your help!

Today I woke up a bit early than every day. My mom was getting prepared to leave for work. As I was awake I thought to accompany mom till her bus, which is a short walk.

On the way a needy man approached us...my mom reached for her purse in her bag but she couldn’t find it. So, I asked her to wait till I go home to bring back the purse...at the same time the man raised a request to bring him few cotton shirts as the May heat was blistering. He asked it in such a way were the rational you and the human you would have an immense sync! for which you will feel truly obligated to help. I went back home to bring my mom’s purse, few cotton shirts and a bottle of water.

A man recovered his trust in humanity by thanking us. This event was concluded with a subtle rain as a credit for the humanity.

 So this was the catch for the day! Get out on your feet some time to see you helping and you getting helped.

                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                               19^th May, 2017.

I think when most parents reach their 50’s 60’s; they pull out some guilt tripping tantrums. Today it was from my hero little father...he is the master at guilt initiating talks. He says like this, I don’t know if we children would take care of them parents when they become old. I never liked it, the heat in our conversation raised...mom left the scene though. He comes like this again I don’t care if you don’t take care of us also, then why would he say something like this then?

I think this is some kind of survival mechanism put forth by the people of that age demography. I suppose some kind of insecurity feel develops when man is about to enter old age. They may feel that their control in some areas is slowly moving to the hands of the young. So, eventually a survival instinct in them evolved human beings wake up to showcase these kind of responses just to pacify them, reassure again and again to confirm that they can be confident with their children, that they shall take care of them.